"The Play of Life"

Photographer: Sara Lehtomaa
Model: Jade Than

I have my moments when I'm really stressed out about stuff. Stuff that isn't all that important. And it often times keeps me awake at night. There's this never ending monologue going through my mind about all the things I'm concerned about. Going through future events beforehand, for instance, is a classic. As much as I hate to admit it, it's silly stuff, and it has to do with my control freak ego. Me being worried about how I come across to people. Of course, to a large extent, it's a primal need - an instinctual coping strategy, making sure that I'm accepted into a group of people. And precisely for this reason it is extremely hard to suppress. It's actually pretty funny because while doing it I do realize none of it matters. And when I say none I really mean itOf course it does matter to you because you naturally want your existence to be pleasant. But what I mean is that we're part of such an immense, infinite universe that one tiny planet called Earth, and certainly one tiny person by the name of Sara, hardly matters in the big picture. 

        We like to think so much of ourselves - that we're special beings with an important role to play in this world. And usually that is how we end up spending our whole lives, committing to that certain set of roles, thinking "this is it, don't screw it up". Taking it so damn seriously. The truth (and the truth is always arguable because who really knows shit) is we exist, just like any other beings on this planet. And what we do really doesn't matter as much as we think it does. But I don't mean to say this as a pessimist (because I'm aware that that's how it may come across to many). And while saying that nothing matters often leads to the subject of suicide - if there's no point in living, why live at all? - I've found a different kind of approach. Why not think of it as a sort of freedom? If nothing matters, that means you are no longer tied to anything, "society's expectations" etc. All that's left is you, and your own experience. When it comes down to it, there's truly the possibility to do anything you want to. The choice is yours (with certain limits depending on one's fortune, I might add). Quoting Bill Hicks from his show in 1993 called Revelations: 

The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, "Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, "Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we … kill those people. "Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real." It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love.

        I also had an interesting conversation with my boyfriend one night when discussing this topic. He asked me: "What would you do if you were God?". First I was quiet for a moment and didn't really know what to reply, since honestly I had never given it a thought. Then I thought, of course I would create a world, which would be a nice place to live in, where everyone would be well off. After that he asked: "What would you do after creating it? Would you get involved or stay as a spectator?". I said, "I would every once in a while be part of it".  Right after uttering those words I had a huuuge "mind-blown" sensation. That might as well be the case. And by the way, I'm by no means committing to the simulation theory here, just keeping my options open (lol). But I think it also serves as a good metaphor for you being in control of your own life, and having the potential to live it as you please. Of course you may argue that people born in extremely poor conditions don't have the chance to do that. But that's exactly why we who are capable should the least by our way of thinking slowly but surely change the course of our common future. Because what are we but a huge interconnected stream of consciousness actualizing itself in physical from. 

        My point being; realize you don't matter; understand that the whole charade is all a product of our minds; accept it; proceed to take on a role based on what makes you (and preferably the people around you) happy and do not for christ's sake take it too seriously. Because "it's just a ride". I also remember someone saying "be the superhero in your own movie". I like that saying.


  1. Replies
    1. Niin ihana kuulla et tykkäilet Mikko!!! Tiedätkin varmaan jo sen että arvostan todella paljon sun mielipidettä :) <3